It's that time again...

Engagements. Weddings. Babies. 

Every few years since I turned 18, there's always a huge wave of engagements, weddings & babies. Every time it happens, I'm always so excited for my friends & to be able to be a part of their happiness & want to be able to drop everything to attend every bridal shower, couples shower, wedding, baby shower - in town or out of state, you name it, I'm doing what I can to get there. So far, in 2014, I've already been to 3 weddings & a baby shower...it's only mid-April. 

Every time this time rolls around again, a midst all of the genuine joy & happiness, I'm also hit with that wave of "why not me?" 

The last time this wave of announcements came, I was 22-23, had been with J for nearly 3 years & was certain we weren't that far from our own announcement since we'd been doing the long-distance relationship for awhile at that point, J had bought a house that I got to have a lot of say in choosing & we'd moved my furniture down to the new house to be the guest room furniture...well, we know how that ended up, but it was my choice to end things because I was tired of being stuck in a position of "someday, just not yet" when it came to talking about our future. I know we were young, but at the same time, I'd never been afraid of looking at that kind of commitment with J...unfortunately he was still stuck on how his parents' marriage ended & was certain that would happen with us. As horrible as it sounds, it wasn't worth fighting for anymore because it was a one-sided discussion that always ended with "someday, just not yet."

This time, there's still that same "why not me?" feeling, but also another one...this wave of announcements is a little different. This time, they're accompanied with divorce & separation announcements from some of the couples that were getting married last time around. Some of those couples are already heading to marriage #2, some have had kids that now get to bear these break-ups & some of these couples are ones who adamantly vowed to fight for their marriage if there ever came a time where the marriage was in question...but have chosen to walk away without the fight they had promised each other for. 

Being that my parents went through a rough patch when I left for college, a 5-year separation, divorce filings & a reconciliation that even now, almost 4 years since they called off the divorce, still requires daily work to maintain their marriage, I've seen firsthand the struggles that come with marriage. Yes, I know, I haven't been married so I can't say I know what that part is like, but I've seen what it takes to fight for your marriage. It's not easy by any means. There's pain. There's anger. There's frustration. There's hurt feelings. But a marriage isn't just about what YOU want anymore, it's about going through life with your husband/wife & growing together, through the tough times & the good ones. Everything isn't always sunshine & rainbows & you don't give up because you hit a rough patch. I know that people change, that's life, but the part that gets me is just how quickly some have chosen to walk away. Don't get me wrong, there are situations where "staying together for the kids" is absolutely not the right decision, but thankfully (in a weird way I guess), those situations aren't the ones in play with these couples.

Alex & I aren't married. We're honestly not in a hurry to be. We've talked about it & it's in our future, but we both intend to be married only once & although we will have been together for 2 years this September, we want to be sure that even though life will always throw curve balls, we'll be on the same path, no matter what those curve balls might be because walking away isn't an option. In the 18+ months we've been together, we never fight. We literally had our first fight - which happened to be a really, REALLY big one - just a few weeks ago. It sucked. Either one of us could've called it quits right then & there, but you know what? As shitty as that week following the fight was, we chose to keep fighting for US & not to walk away because all of the good in our relationship wasn't worth giving up over one fight. 

This time, there's still that same "why not me?" feeling...but this time, there's a feeling of being thankful for where I am & who I get to go through this time with because I can't see my life without him in it. So congratulations to all my friends getting engaged, getting married & adding to their families! I truly am happy for you & can't wait to celebrate with you! 

♥Linz